Pitfalls of dating


The other day, at a Fashion Week party, my friend Alan and I stood against a wall, scanning the room for hot people, as you do.“It’s weird,” he said contemplatively, staring into a sea of models.“You’re surrounded by ingenuine people, and therefore lack the knowledge of how to form good, honest relationships.” Because of all the attention, she said, beautiful people often become obsessed with how other people perceive them, which can ultimately lead to a pronounced insecurity.“At one point I felt like I was dating a teenage girl,” she said.“Lately, in order to want to sleep with someone, I actually have to them as a person.” He said this as if it were a mind-blowing revelation.I told him that, at 31, the realization was probably a bit overdue, but I knew what he meant: As one gets older, it becomes harder and harder to be attracted to someone simply because of the way they look.But, as un-shallow as I have congratulated myself for being on many occasions, I will admit that there have been times when someone’s looks overwhelmed any need for a deeper compatibility.



He just constantly needed validation.”Personally, the people I’ve been most attracted to—not the superficial kind of attraction we feel to a pretty person on a page, but a deep, chemical attraction—have not been conventionally beautiful.But according to Millie, all of this unearned praise and attention can present problems in relationships.“When you’re a model, or just extremely good-looking, people are constantly telling you that you’re beautiful, but those people usually want something from you,” she told me.Is it because, with age, we care more about a relationship’s potential longevity, rather than just instant sexual gratification?

Or perhaps we become more acutely aware of the impermanence of beauty after experiencing our own signs of aging?

But according to Millie, the reality of being romantically involved with the world’s most desired has its downsides.“What’s annoying is that when you’re with a really hot guy, other girls have no qualms about coming up and hitting on him right in front of you,” she said.